Dealing With Haters When Running A Business

As I was starting this magazine I was asked by one of the contributors

-“Aren’t you scared of haters” and immediately said 

-“No, why would I? We all have different dreams, desires, and ideas on how to live our lives – why would I worry about haters.”

Funny enough, later on, I did start thinking about the haters. However, it was from a different perspective – why was someone’s reaction to my dream of this magazine be to ask me about the haters? Why not concentrate on the mission and idea? What was the lady thinking and why fear was one of the first reactions? Yet, after that – I realized one huge thing. MY GROWTH. Amazing that over the years I got to the level of not caring about the hate. This made me proud. My first reaction was staying in a confident self vs in a limiting belief.

This inner conversation, this realization, brought immense peace to me. It’s not that I don’t get emotional, sad, or fearful, it’s that I decided and acted upon the bravery to chase my dreams and that is stronger than any scary thought.

This is so significant to me and to the mission of this magazine. I truly want each one of us to get to the point of clarity on what’s our special talent, how can we develop it, and help others through it.

I think the biggest lesson is knowing that we are all different and have different needs and ideas for living. Allowing this knowledge in is the most peaceful feeling. It allows you to see others on different paths and know it might be great for them. After all, we have different ideas on hobbies, travel destinations, clothing, the definition of a peaceful retreat so why not allow and accept others if they choose something else?

Of course, we can get into the hypothetical right or wrong discussion but that’s not the purpose of it. I want each one of us to truly understand – some of us can sign (not me for sure), some can dance, others paint, speak, or listen and it all has a great value. We all need to learn that our special talent makes up a move, and loves life, and this is my mission. 

Here are 5 tips on how I deal with the haters:

1. Remember you can’t make everyone happy. You are here to make YOU happy.
   Keep a notepad with your wins – what did you accomplish, how you help others, client testimonials, thank you letters – that always reminds me of how I helped others and shifts my mind into thinking about the positive. And never, never, never forget that we are all different and have different talents, and skills, and that is beautiful. That is what makes us special, so embrace it.
   
2. Gratitude ranting.
   Start saying your gratitude – big or small. Gratitude shifts your mind to think about the positive and remembering all the good things makes you realize that haters might not be that important. If you get to the point of nothing coming to your head – force yourself to point out the pen that’s on your desk, the calendar, the notepad you can write in, even go to the kitchen and thank the fork you can get into that carrot cake in (or any other dessert you like). Doesn’t matter if that will make you laugh – you are switching train of thoughts 😉 Congrats.
   
3. Realize people that hurt are usually hurt.
   This is what state of mind that person had to be to only have negative comments. Was it spoken out of pain? Maybe someone just died close to them so truly the grief and anger is talking, not them? Maybe they failed recently or they think they always fail so truly their jealousy and anger at themselves are talking? We never know other people’s trauma and drama so just step back and send them love (or nothingness).
   
4. You decide how to respond.
   You can respond with kindness, you can ignore or block, the decision is yours. If something really triggered you, maybe the best strategy would be to leave it for 24 hrs and think about a response? I usually also think about why this really hit me… a little retrospective work always helps us get up back to our inner peace.
   
5. Did this really matter? 
   Time heals many wounds, so would you care about this person’s opinion in 2 months, 4 years, or 10 years? Is this opinion really crushing you and your business or just assuring you that you have grown, and some people had to stay back? Or maybe it’s a valid criticism by someone that just doesn’t know how to word it in a polite and kind way? 

Here is a great quote to gain perspective – published in Forbes  

You’re going to inspire envy and criticism if you’re super successful at what you do. That’s just par for the course. Criticism is the best proof that you’re bound to be wildly successful. I learned early on that the more people bad-mouth you, the more jealous they are. —Barbara Corcoran, founder of The Corcoran Group, podcast host of Business Unusual, and Shark on “Shark Tank”

Hope all of us get as close as possible to the state of mind where each day is a vacation – peaceful, breathtaking, and fun. One that moves you to the core!